Some Urban Dictionary Gems


Clapping before you even know what you're clapping for.

When Walter was the only one clapping at the show, it was obvious that he was suffering from preclapulation.


Shit the Fuck Yeah

Exclamation for when something is just too cool for any other phrase.

"I just got us tickets to the ... show."



A man who must be home by midnight for any one of a variety of reasons or he will face serious consequences



When you find yourself in a date with someone who bores you to the point that you find yourself asleep with your eyes open.


dick date

When two guys hang out together in a non-romantic fashion over dinner or a show. Also referred to as a "man date".


crappy ending

The opposite of a happy ending when getting a massage. When you are so relaxed that you shit yourself during the massage.


get these hands

Ur about to get your ass beat


Emergency walk

When you are at the breaking point of pissing or shitting your pants. You can't run because that would shake it all out.



Abstaining from masturbation.

Guy: So do you like to play with yourself?

Girl: No, I'm mabstinent.

Notorious Fapper: I will try to be mabstinent because I'm ashamed of my nonstop wanking.


Find your silence

A request that somebody be quiet, stop talking, etc.


Service the Account

A euphemism for masturbating, especially at work.


bridesmaid wasted

The special kind of drunk you only get as a female member of a wedding party. The kind where you wake up the next day in a pretty dress, missing your shoes, smeared with someone else's lipstick and unable to remember how you made it home after a wedding or stagette.


you got to be fist fucking me

When someone does something really stupid.


bathroom buckshot

The act of having explosive diarrhea in close proximity to a toilet which results in fecal matter splatter on said toilet and nearby areas. Fecal matter splatter resembles the pattern of buckshot or birdshot. Usually associated with Radar Ass or Radar Butt.


thirst trapping

The act of looking very attractive to the opposing gender to lead them on to rejection


Screaming Jesus On A Ferris Wheel

Phrase used to xpress extreme suprise and shock.


God Damn Motherfucking Shitty Fucking Shit Fuckers
expression indicating extreme anger and/or pain


captain's call
A decision made unilaterally by a team leader without consulting colleagues, often a massive clusterfuck.