My Ratings system

Okey Dokey everyone else is having a go so here's my rating system.

 

 

1* - tape this baby onto a table tennis bat and slap my arse with it, cause that's all its good for and you gotta get some pleasure right.
 
2* - Pulling faces of displeasure, usually shitty writing, crappy metaphors and the only pleasure from this will be when its hits the bottom of the bin with a resounding thud. Would have been better off watching 'songs of praise'.
 
3* - Average all the way, didn't dislike but not a fave and I wouldn't read it again, pleasure comes from the alcohol you treat yourself to whilst reading it. Half bottle required.
 
4* - Now we're talking, didn't bore me in any way, being hyper critical it wasn't perfect but it wasn't a million miles away either. Get the whip out and retire to the dungeon.
 
5* -  tape this baby onto a table tennis bat and slap my arse with it, add some furry handcuffs and gimp mask, now we are rocking, I will do this again.
 
Job done.