Chuck Norris is God

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

 

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

 

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone

 

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

 

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

 

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

 

Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

 

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

 

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

 

Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man

 

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. Chuck Norris was the first man to walk on the sun.

 

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle

 

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.