Chuck Norris is God

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.


When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.


Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.


Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone


Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.


Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience


Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.


Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.


Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.


Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.


Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.


Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man


Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. Chuck Norris was the first man to walk on the sun.


Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle


Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.