What The Dark Brings, well thankfully it brings 19 tales of twisted horror all wrapped neatly up in a body bag with a deep scalpel slice of wicked humour by Edward Lorn. Ok, maybe not but what a delivery system that would be instead of just boringly downloading to your kindle. That said strap yourselves in, boredom was abducted and tortured into obscurity between pages 0 & 1 and prepare to read this in one ass numbing sitting.
And if 19 tales isn’t enough for you, there’s a bonus tagged on the end, in the form of the mini-anthology Three After, another 3 stories, there is it seems a God after all.
Starting off with Literary Sweets, a store that has both books and sweets, genius and yes it’s free but comes with a warning “if you do not need it…you may regret it”. Randolph takes his goodies home and is transported back to his childhood. From here it only gets darker.
Along the way we have Nothing Is Out There To Get You, as Penny’s date drives off in her car, leaving her out in the sea just as something grabs her leg. Ending with the euphemism “That Nothing is a motherfucker”.
Up On The Rooftop is the tale of Greg and he’s got 4 quite serious problems, the biggest one being the fact he’s stuck in his chimney stack. His wife left him not 2 days ago with the words “You know what, Greg? You should really learn to think before you act.” In hindsight that piece of advice could have saved him from his current predicament. The general consensus of opinion was that Greg was just plain stupid and in the most apt words of his mother.
“One of these days… you gonna go and do something stupid… and God’s gonna take you… just on principle”.
Smitten was another favourite, featuring a darkly humorous tale of rednecks and zombies. He Who Laughs Last is a story about two drugged up dudes amidst a pandemic that reduces its victims to chuckling killers.
He's got issues is the story of Homer the hoarder, he wakes up one morning to find there's something strange in his house, aside from his brother Ollie. Little fucking creatures, are they friendly? I guess not when he goes to stroke one and it relieves him of three of his fingers.
Some fantastic stories in this collection, extremely twisted, dark and very funny in places. Some of my favourites were amongst the 3 stories comprising Three After.
The first being Snuggles, Elizabeth is 6 years old. She finds her favourite cat Snuggles in the garbage and in an ingeniously creepy tale the young girl tells in the way only a six year old could, just what she's been up to with her dead cat. One of the spookiest things for me is evil kids or kids taking part in unadulterated violence and this story is one I don't think I'll ever forget, wickedly disturbing.
And finally, An affair To Remember Is the story of Jimmy Thomas who takes the ultimate revenge on his cheating spouse and her lover with the help of a nail gun. He was well within his rights to be thinking that it’s all over but no not this time.